Doubting Hope

Read: John 20:19-31

Unless I see . . . I will never believe. (v. 25)

Have you ever felt like Thomas? Especially in my miscarriage grief, I resonated immensely with the disciple nicknamed “Doubting Thomas.” It can be hard to hope. For very logical reasons you might be afraid to hope for fear of being let down. The phrase “don’t get your hopes up” stems from this notion. We see Thomas wrestle with this very fear.

I imagine he was still quite grief-stricken and shocked following the events of Jesus’ crucifixion. Thomas had watched his rabbi and friend endure a brutal murder, and then days later rumors began swirling that Jesus was resurrected. Just as it would be odd for us to see a resurrected person walking around town today, so it was for Thomas to see the risen Jesus. It seems as though Thomas’ underlying thoughts were, “Jesus, this seems too good to be true. I’m not going to believe this unless I see with my own eyes that you’re resurrected. Prove it to me.”

Where Thomas had doubts, Jesus had grace. Jesus met Thomas in his very doubt: “put out your hand, and place it in my side” (v. 27). When Jesus allowed Thomas to touch his scarred body, he not only proved he was the risen Messiah but showed he had the grace to meet Thomas in the midst of his doubt. The same is true for you today. Jesus desires to meet you in the middle of your doubt, without shame or condemnation but with a grace that runs as deep as his scars. —Rachel Lohman

As you pray, confess and surrender your doubts before God.

About the Author

Rachel Lohman is the mom of two toddlers and founder of Hope Again Collective. She lives outside of Los Angeles where she helps lead a bilingual church, The Bridge Chino, alongside her husband, Mark.

This entry is part 6 of 7 in the series Finding Jesus in Miscarriage Grief